In 2017, I left my last former employer to strike out as an entrepreneur in business for myself.

If you saw what I’ve experienced and accomplished during this time, I bet you’d feel I have been successful.

• I got married.

• My annual income surpassed six figures.

• I traveled out of the country multiple times.

• And had more than 10,000 followers on Instagram.

From the outside, that looks like success.

But what you don’t know is that during this same period of time…

• I got divorced.

• I struggled with credit card debt.

• I stretched myself way too thin financially so that I could travel.

• I became obsessive about time spent on Instagram and let the algorithm live my life.

There were great points during that period; however, there was a lack of connection, fulfillment, and joy in my life. Often, I felt alone, misunderstood, and empty.

I certainly didn’t feel successful. 

As I write this today, I feel more successful than ever and it has nothing to do with the amount of money in my bank account, the number of trips I take, nor the number of Instagram followers I have.

In today’s Unstuck Yourself Newsletter, I’m going to challenge your current working model of the word success and share three harsh truths I’ve learned on my entrepreneurship and continuous journey of self-development. My aim is to help you redefine success and avoid making some of the mistakes I did so that you can continue to feel fulfilled, purpose-driven, and successful. 

Oh - and be sure to check out the Unstuck Yourself Podcast if you haven’t already. I heard it’s really good. 

How Do You Define Success?

Success

/səkˈses/

noun

the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

There are multiple definitions of the word success. 

And there are multiple ways to define it.

The problem, however, is that you’re aiming for a definition of success that you didn’t create.

From a young age, society has conditioned you to believe that success is related to having wealth, fame, and the most attractive partner in the world. And, not having each of these three things makes you unsuccessful.

That’s pretty grim, right?

If you’re anything like me, your definition of success is tied towards not only accomplishment but specifically, financial gain and recognition of your achievements.

For the longest time, I defined success by the amount of money in my bank account - and the number of people who knew.

I attributed my worth, my success, and my status to this amount.

In some regards, it served as a massive driving force behind my tenacious work ethic. It did, at least temporarily, serve me well as it pushed me to appreciate and understand what it meant to be relentless and committed to my goal. 

Ultimately, this drive, however, pushed me past a breaking point. I began to lose myself in the hustle and grind of social media entrepreneurship; sacrificing my time, my energy, boundaries, and well-being for another dollar.

• My marriage took a hit.

• My mental wellbeing took a hit.

• My ability to recognize and regulate my emotions was strained.

I became consumed by someone else’s definition of success; by society’s definition of success.

Candidly, I still want to make as much money as I can. Not only does this provide me financial, time, and location freedom, but I also definitively know that when I make more money I’m helping more people. This is a powerful win-win.

But I now operate with a different definition of success that excludes any mention of money.

I define success as the commitment to and consistent pursuit of that which brings me the most joy.

What I appreciate most about this definition is it has universal application. I can find and create joy in my work, in my self-care, in my personal ambitions, in my romantic relationships, and my friendships. 

The word commitment is intentional. For me, this means being all in with both feet and without a plan B. More on the importance of being committed versus interested here. 

Consistent pursuit is reflective of my enjoyment of the non-stop journey toward my goal. 

How do you define success?

Success is Boring

Nearly every single day this past month began the same way.

• I woke up at 5:30 AM.

• I put in my headphones to listen to a guided hypnosis on the Primed Mind app.

• I chugged 20 ounces of water.

• I used the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and put in my eyeballs (my contacts).

• I got the pot of coffee started.

• I fed my dog.

• I walked my dog (on the same loop).

• I journaled for five to ten minutes.

• I read 10 pages of my book (sometimes from two books).

• I sat down for at least 90 minutes of uninterrupted work.

The meat and potato portion of my day carries a similar bland flavor.

• I led a mixture of Mindset Coaching Discovery and 1:1 Mindset Coaching Calls.

• I fired off a dozen emails.

• Grabbed a workout.

• And sprinkled in a few walks with my dog.

And, in the evening, which, admittedly, has a bit more flavor and variety, I would wind down by drinking a warm mug of Mud Water while I listen to my sleepytime EDM playlist (thank you, Spotify). I’d use this time to catch up on a few text messages and review my day while lying on my couch with my dog.

As I wrote the above down, I further recognized how bland of a month that may seem.

In the past 30 days, I’ve experienced more growth personally, romantically, professionally, and financially than ever before. Truth be told, it was one hell of a month for me.

And as I spent time yesterday reflecting on all that I achieved and experienced, it became abundantly clear how much was rooted in executing the same, boring basics over and over. 

Success is the result of executing the basics repeatedly.

This is true in every aspect of life.

You don’t get rich by occasionally hitting it big in the lottery. Instead, small, consistent automatic transfers to your investing and savings accounts alongside mindful spending accumulate and capitalize on compound interest to yield large gains. 

You also don’t lose weight and keep it off for good by hopping from one 1,200-calorie diet to the next. Instead, sustainable success is the result of eating similar simple meals three or four times per day while consistently executing a few workouts per week. Not restricting all of your favorite foods for 30 days while hitting the gym twice per day seven days per week.

The same can be said for romantic relationships. It’s not the extravagant vacation and love bombing when times are tough that foster a long-term, loving, and healthy relationship. It’s the accumulation of daily texts, “I love yous,” and butt pats that foster safety, love, and connection. 

Success is boring.

Learn to fall in love with it and you’ll appreciate the peaks that much more. 

Success is Simple

Whether you seek financial, professional, health, or romantic success, there’s a simple formula.

Do the few foundational basics that move the needle most.

And do them repeatedly over and over.

If you’re saving for a house, you should have automatic transfers taking place each month and stockpiling any residual income into a house-specific savings account.

If you’re seeking to lose weight and keep it off for good, you should be hitting the gym at the same time multiple days per week while also ensuring food is either prepped or delivered ready to eat on a routine basis.

If you’re striving to improve the depth and connection of your romantic relationship, you should be regularly complimenting him or her, reinforcing and reminding him or her of your feelings and what you love about him or her, and showing this love both via action and his or her respective love language.

It’s truly quite simple.

Unfortunately, simple is not the same as easy.

But it does become easier once you accept how hard it is.

Success requires commitment, consistent time outside your comfort zone, and a willingness and courage to act even when you don’t feel like it.

Success is a noun and a verb; a destination and a journey. 

Having your own definition of success is like having a GPS. It will guide you in the right direction to where you want to go, but you still need to take every single step to get there.

Success Doesn’t Take as Long as You Think

My former self would attempt to convince you that success takes a long time to achieve. It would also attempt to persuade you to believe that to achieve it, you need to put in the work, energy, and effort for a significant time.

I still believe that - to an extent.

Since updating and optimizing my definition of the word success, I’ve realized that I can both appreciate and experience success every single day I work toward my goals. 

I define success as the commitment to and consistent pursuit of that which brings me the most joy.

This has proven to be a powerful revelation for me because no longer am I hoping and wishing I get to this end destination faster. Instead, I’m present in the consistent pursuit and commitment of my goal, which bolsters motivation, clarifies areas of progress, and reinforces my commitment to my goals.

It’s a potent combination, to say the least!

Your Next Step

Get clear on how you’re currently defining success.

How is this definition helping you? 

How is it hurting you?

Redefine success on your terms. Then, in the area of your life you’re most feeling stuck, begin to filter each decision through this new definition.

You can’t change unless you change.

Thank you for reading this week’s newsletter.

Interested in learning more about how I help high-performers just like you unstuck themselves and unlock their full potential?

Apply to work with me and schedule a coaching discovery call here. 

You may catch up on previous newsletters here. 

Subscribe and listen to The Unstuck Yourself Podcast here.

If you have a question about anything I discussed in this week’s Unstuck Newsletter, please message me on Twitter (@pauljsalter7) or Instagram (@paulsaltercoaching).

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