Do you ever feel like you know what to do, but can’t seem to do it - at least consistently?

Sure, when motivation strikes, you may take two big steps forward but inevitably, you end up two - even three - steps backward.

If you’re like most people - myself for a longer time than I care to admit - you struggle to put the information you learn into action.

Take my client Jenna, for example. 

She owns an online nutrition and training coaching business, which she shifted entirely online during the pandemic. Despite the flexibility this provided, she found herself spending an excessive amount of time on social media, trying to attract new clients.

In early 2023, she invested in a coaching program to refine her social media and business strategies, with the aim of hitting her monthly revenue target of $25,000. 

Initially, Jenna was highly motivated and absorbed knowledge from the program eagerly. However, after six months, she hadn't made significant progress toward her income goal.

Jenna had the information and understood her key metrics, like her call show rate and average close rate. She knew exactly how many conversations she needed to have to book 10 calls.

Yet, despite this clarity, she felt stuck.

When it came to content creation, her mind would draw a blank. Drafting messages to past clients brought doubts about their prior experience. Even asking for the sale, she hesitated and defaulted to her old, discounted price.

It was evident that Jenna was facing a mental barrier preventing her from taking the necessary actions, despite knowing exactly what they were. This invisible force was impeding her progress, and without delving deeper into the issue, Jenna would likely continue to struggle with surface-level solutions to a deeper problem.

In today’s edition of the Unstuck Yourself Newsletter, I’ll introduce you to what you need to know about the part of you that’s really calling the shots - hint: it’s NOT you. I’ll help you understand what you need to know about the part of you in charge so that you can learn to work cooperatively with one another to make all of your dreams come true.

Definition Note: for the sake of clarity and simplicity, I’m differentiating between these two often interchangeably used words as follows:

Unconscious: the unobservable mental processing that is always present.

Subconscious: the part of the mind where this processing resides. 

The Tip of the Iceberg 

Sigmund Freud, the pioneer of psychoanalysis, introduced the Iceberg Theory, likening it to the human mind's two main components.

Above the surface, resembling the tip of an iceberg, lies the conscious mind - where awareness, perception, and deliberate thought reside. It's the part of the mind we actively engage and influence.

This is where Jenna primarily focused her attention, absorbing new knowledge and striving to implement fresh strategies. Yet, she consistently encountered an unseen barrier, hindering her from achieving sustained, meaningful change.

This barrier parallels the influence of the subconscious mind - the portion of the iceberg concealed beneath the surface. Both in the mind and the iceberg's structure, this concealed part holds paramount importance.

Within the subconscious, you'll find your beliefs, fears, habits, emotions, values, perceived reactions, imagination, and intuition, collectively shaping your personality and identity, ultimately crafting your reality.

Freud posited that much of our behavior stems from factors operating beyond our conscious awareness, originating from the depths of our subconscious. While the conscious and subconscious work in concert, he suggested that the unconscious mind exerts the greatest influence. This is because there exists one-way communication between the two minds.

One-Way Communication

The relationship between your conscious and subconscious mind is akin to a one-way radio broadcast. The subconscious continually sends signals that influence the conscious mind, but the conscious mind can't transmit signals in return.

The result: your conscious thoughts, willpower, and actions are under the sway of your subconscious. If fears, doubts, or feelings of inadequacy reside in your subconscious, they'll directly shape your conscious thoughts and actions, ultimately influencing your identity and reality.

Consider Jenna's upbringing: raised by a single, hard-working mother, money was a perpetual concern. Her mother's stress around finances and negative remarks about the wealthy left a lasting impression. She can still hear how nastily her mother spoke about those who did have lots of money - she called them “evil scum bags.”

Childhood experiences and caregiver interactions significantly shape subconscious beliefs. For Jenna, this translated to a belief in associating wealth with being morally corrupt.

Further adding complexity to the process of growth and change is the deep-seated need for belonging we all share. In Jenna’s case, she was striving for something that deviated from her upbringing - achieving a $25,000 monthly income. This triggered a genuine fear of rejection or abandonment.

This intrinsic fear of judgment, abandonment, and rejection is explored further in my recent newsletter, "Escaping the Fear JAR." It delves into our biological drive to belong and the powerful, albeit irrational, impact these fears can have.

The subconscious mind wields significant influence over your thoughts, behaviors, and emotions, often operating beyond your conscious awareness. At any given moment, it exerts a profound impact on your conscious thoughts and actions.

However, our level of conscious awareness operates in the reverse order:

Initially, we become aware of the action we've taken on the surface. This is where we tend to invest the majority of our time and effort in addressing a problem.

This is comparable to noticing a large weed in your garden and persistently trying to eliminate it by trimming the visible part, rather than directly targeting the roots for complete removal.

The number one reason why personal transformation often doesn't last is that nearly everyone is trying to make subconscious changes from conscious efforts.

Here’s how Jenna’s situation was playing out:

• Subconscious Belief: making a lot of money makes me an evil scum bag.
  

• Subconscious Fear: making a lot of money will lead to Mom judging and eventually rejecting and abandoning me.
  

• Conscious Actions: not following up with warm leads, not hitting her daily outreach goals, not increasing her prices, and not being open to changing her strategies.

Jenna harbored a belief that it was unsafe to make and keep a lot of money, which, reading or speaking aloud sounds silly. But prior to learning this through hypno-mindset coaching, she continued to attack this challenge at the conscious level by filling her mind with more strategies. 

The Subconscious Wants to Keep You Safe / Why You (Unconsciously) Do the Things You Do

The primary function of your subconscious mind is to ensure your safety.

However, it's important to note that the subconscious operates on emotions and often lacks rationality, and it doesn't have a clear grasp of reality.

This means that what you and I logically understand to be safe, like achieving financial success or significant weight loss, may not align with your subconscious's assessment. This discrepancy can be attributed to past events and memories that have shaped its perception.

For Jenna, her subconscious linked financial success with negative labels and a potential threat to her maternal relationship. Consequently, she continued to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, as illustrated below.

• Subconscious Belief: making a lot of money makes me an evil scum bag.
  

• Subconscious Fear: making a lot of money will lead to Mom judging and eventually rejecting and abandoning me.
  

• Conscious Actions: not following up with warm leads, not hitting her daily outreach goals, not increasing her prices, not being open to changing her strategies.

Here’s another example that is sadly too common:

A client of mine carried a little excess weight for most of her childhood and into early adulthood. She eventually joined the military and got into the best shape of her life. 

Sadly, around this time, she became a victim of repeated sexual assault. 

Her subconscious - in an effort to keep her safe - equated weighing a certain amount and looking a certain way as unsafe (dangerous!). For the next twenty years, she struggled with her weight, having quickly gained 30 pounds after the first incident occurred.

It wasn’t until she was ready to confront this traumatic past and get the help she needed healing and reprogramming her subconscious - which we did via hypno-mindset coaching - that she was able to begin effortlessly losing weight. In fact, in our first year working together, she lost 25 pounds!

You could go as far as to argue that keeping you stuck is the primary goal of the subconscious and that it does so by initiating any number of sabotaging situations and behaviors to keep you in your comfort zone, which is where feelings of familiarity, predictability, and safety grow.

Take a moment to reflect on any habit you have that isn't currently benefiting you. You'll likely discover an underlying belief that your subconscious is using as a form of protection.

For instance, as I discussed in a previous newsletter, I held the belief that surpassing my parents' income was unsafe. For six years, I earned nearly the exact amount they collectively made.

It was only when I actively addressed this belief and reprogrammed my subconscious that I exceeded this income threshold. When you find yourself caught in habits that hinder rather than help, understand that your subconscious believes it's safeguarding you from potential harm.

The journey to reshaping these habits and reprogramming your subconscious begins and concludes with hypno-mindset coaching. Hypnosis provides a direct channel to engage with your subconscious, circumventing the critical and judgmental nature of your conscious mind. 

I'll delve deeper into this process in the upcoming week. Stay tuned!

Your Next Step

It’s my hope you’re now more aware of the power your subconscious bolds over your everyday thoughts, actions, and results. 

You may not be the one responsible for the collection of beliefs and habits within your subconscious, but you’re the only one who can do something about it. 

If you’re interested in learning how Hypno-Mindset Coaching can help you plant the right seeds in your subconscious mind and remove the weeds currently holding you back from unlocking your full potential, you can apply to work with me and schedule a coaching discovery call here. 

You can’t change unless you change.

Thank you for reading this week’s newsletter.

In next Friday’s Unstuck Yourself Newsletter, I’m going to further detail the role of the conscious and subconscious mind, as well as shed light on the most powerful tool I’ve yet to come across when it comes to stopping self-sabotage at the source: hypno-mindset coaching. 

You may catch up on previous newsletters here. 

If you have a question about anything I discussed in this week’s Unstuck Newsletter, feel free to drop me a message on Twitter (@pauljsalter7) or Instagram (@unstuckyourselfcoaching).

My email inbox is always open, too: [email protected]

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