In 2017, my world was jolted when a rear-end collision left me in immediate, searing pain. 

Being young, tough, and resilient (read: stubborn), however, I ignored the warning signs and continued with my daily grind, including my mid-afternoon workout. A routine squat turned catastrophic as I descended into a light warm-up set only to hear an unforgettable "pop." 

Intense searing pain quickly turned into debilitating pain and I made the decision to stumble to the parking lot and drive myself home for the day. A trip for x-rays and to meet with a physical therapist would reveal I herniated several discs and also accumulated a degree of severe muscle strains and slight tears.

The prescription and preventative rehab to heal were rooted in consistent massage, physical therapy, chiropractic work, and, my favorite, mobility and flexibility.

It wasn’t until six months later that I could confidently put a barbell on my back or execute a deadlift without any pain. 

You’d think being diagnosed with herniated discs, strains, and tears would be a wake-up call to follow through on the preventative aspect of my recovery prescription: mobility and recovery.

Sadly, it wasn’t.

Another accident in 2019, just days before my wedding, exacerbated the old injury, alternating between debilitating pain and fleeting relief.

Just like before, I had to immediately cease all squatting and deadlifting, which was an emotionally charged challenge given how passionate I’d become about competitive powerlifting.

With adequate time off and some physical therapy, I was able to get back to 80 percent of my usual self - mild pain became part of my daily life. Yet, I refused to do the preventative work yet again.

Why was this important?

The entire collection of muscles between my glutes, back, and hips were all stuck in protection mode. If I continued to ignore this deep-rooted tightness, it’d only get worse and leave me more vulnerable to injury. And, of course, being rear-ended only made things worse. 

The story took an unexpected turn in 2021 (kidding), as fate had another rear-end collision in store for me. 

You can’t make this stuff up…

Yet, again, the stubborn me carried on. A week off from intense lifting and it was business as usual, including navigating pain when putting my shoes on or taking my socks off.

In late October 2023, which, need I remind you was three accidents later, six years since professional advice to make mobility and flexibility a staple in my daily routine, the pain reached an unbearable crescendo. 

I heard yet another pop while warming up for a workout one day, and I felt a severe heat-like pain spread from my right glute, across my sacrum and low back, and into my left glute.

I’d finally reached rock bottom.

The pain was unbearable.

I couldn’t sit comfortably to read a book on my couch, nor find a comfortable position to sit at my desk during the work day. 

Yet, all of this - years of physical, emotional, and financial hardship - could’ve been avoided if I declared a previous moment my rock bottom, rather than letting the Universe declare an even more catastrophic experience for me. 

Finally, after six long years of suffering, I took a stand. I invested in my well-being, joining a stretch lab, and seeking acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, and decompression therapy. 

The financial investment pales in comparison to the emotional toll and lost time. As I reflect on this painful journey, regret and frustration swirl within. 

Why did I delay when trusted professionals urged immediate action? 

The cost, both emotionally and financially, is a stark reminder: health should never be compromised.

In this edition of the Unstuck Yourself Newsletter, I'll use my story of stubbornness to help illustrate why you’re conditioned to delay change until the pain of staying the same becomes so unbearable that you’re finally ready to do something about it.

Let’s dive in!

Why Wait to Reach Rock Bottom?

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” 

- Tony Robbins

Rock bottom.

The lowest of lows.

The worst possible situation.

Rock bottom is often seen as the catalyst for transformation, a wake-up call to the pain of reality. 

This rock bottom pattern is experienced when you…

• Rack up $10,000 in credit card debt, say you’ll make changes to your spending and saving habits, only to find yourself, $15,000 in the hole six months later.
  

• This is running away from a great relationship, only to find yourself alone and desperate for love and connection a few months later (the same love and connection you already had).

• This is being 20 pounds overweight and begin diagnosed with pre-diabetes only to find yourself 35 pounds overweight and diagnosed with type II diabetes a few months later.

But the truth is that there are several change-worthy moments you encounter on your path to rock bottom. If you fail to recognize this or put off ownership and action around your situation, you’ll continue to accumulate an emotional and financial cost that grows exponentially.

The longer you delay taking action to unstuck yourself, the deeper the emotional and financial cost. 

Every single time I help one of my one-on-one hypno-mindset and performance clients unstuck themselves, they always - and I mean always - come to the revelation of, “Why did I wait so long to ____ (invest in themselves, ask for help, etc.)?”

Why are you waiting - what are you waiting for? - until you reach a real rock bottom (think divorce, bankruptcy, losing their house) to make any changes in your life?

I’ll tell you why: you’re overwhelmed by fear, shame, and embarrassment. 

These three emotions have a powerful paralyzing effect, yet, the longer you let them remain in the driver’s seat of your life, the harder it becomes to take back control.

I want you to know that it’s okay to not be okay.

It’s okay to ask for - to need - the help of others.

We’re a tribal species after all!

Reflecting back on my situation, I held two degrees in nutrition and exercise science and was a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist. Couple these facts with the natural ego and stubbornness of a young man who thought he was invincible, and it becomes easy to see why I delayed asking for help and doing what I knew I should be doing. 

I felt I could solve my own problem.

I didn’t need anybody else to help me.

I had it under control.

Until I didn’t. 

Stubbornness is one reason so many - myself included - delay taking action and wait until things get unbearable and bad to take action. 

Another reason you may be delaying taking action is you’re emotionally disconnected from yourself…

You’re Emotionally Disconnected

There’s a progression and phasic journey to reaching rock bottom that’s rich in significant milestones along the way before reaching the end destination.

For example, you didn’t just wake up with $25,000 in credit card debt one morning. First, it was the $5,000 you invested in business coaching that you committed to paying back as soon as possible.

Fast-forward a few months, and that debt had surpassed $10,000 - and you had a mini panic attack as a result.

Each of these emotionally-charged moments was an opportunity to make significant changes to reverse this debt pattern, yet, you fail to recognize the path you’re on because you’re emotionally disconnected. 

When you’re out of touch with your emotions - typically coping and numbing with vices such as alcohol, weed, gambling, or otherwise - you’re not able to truly feel how dire the situation is, nor able to truly understand the consequences of your behavior if you continue to act in this way.

Consider hearing a dear friend tell you about her current situation: 

If your best friend told you she likely won’t be able to make payroll for her employees this month, um, I think you’d begin to fear a level of deep concern for her.

This person is unable to help her employees pay their bills, feed their families, and live their lives. I can’t think of too many situations that are worse than that. 

Yet, as you see her making questionable purchases and not showing a genuine level of concern, well, I imagine you’d see this situation as quite concerning! 

Clearly, she’s disconnected from the gravity and impact of the situation.

Furthermore, you’d react in shock, too, when your friend tells you that his doctor informed him he’s 30 pounds overweight and pre-diabetic, yet he shares this with you without any true concern and asks you if you want to join him for lunch at Five Guys. 

The guy’s just asking for a slew of health complications to develop over the next couple of years - or sooner!

In these examples, these friends of yours don’t recognize how bad their situation is - they’ve become numb to the signals their body is sending to communicate how dire the situation is. 

So, the situation continues to get progressively worse until it reaches a point where the impact is so tenuous that they have no choice to change - and at this point, it may be too late and cost an unfathomable amount!

I could sit here and recommend countless tactics to begin connecting with your emotions. I could tell you all about the benefits of breathwork, journaling, meditation, and more.

But honestly, I think the best place to start is to sit down, shut up, and be in a state of silence and solitude for five minutes per day. When you’re in this state, simply observe what comes up through a lens of non-judgmental, compassionate curiosity. 

Note what you begin to think and feel, and where you feel it in your body. Connect with that emotion.

This will go a long way in helping you begin to feel again.

Once you’re able to begin reconnecting with your emotions, you’ll put yourself in a position where you may recognize how mad the situation is and how much benefit you’ll derive from asking for help.

You’re Hesitant to Ask for and Accept Help

After my first car accident, I could’ve easily hired a personal trainer to help hold me accountable to complete my prescribed mobility and flexibility work.

I could have done the same thing in 2019 and in 2021.

But, as you know, I didn’t.

Why? 

I was afraid to ask for help.

I felt a macho young buck like myself could figure it out on my own.

I couldn’t.

And, guess what: that’s okay.

It’s normal to feel a sense of judgment or embarrassment around asking for help, especially help in something you have a strong knowledge base.

But guess what - the highest performers in the world have coaches.

Coaches have coaches.

You, too, need to have a coach if you’re looking to unlock your full potential. 

Where and when did you learn that asking for help is not okay?

Seriously - take a moment to ponder that…

Because the truth is that asking for help is:

• a sign of strength. 

• the quickest way to accelerate achieving the results you desire. 

• a trait possessed by the best of the best.

It’s okay to ask for help. 

If you’re still reading this, I’m going to take this as a sign that you’re interested in a bit of help. The final section below will share an exercise to help you recognize how painful your life will be if you continue to walk the current path versus how much better your life could be if you make a change today.

You Have Two Paths

If change doesn’t come until the pain of staying the same surpasses the pain of change, then you need to find a way to see, feel, and experience the pain of your current position, and not only turn it up a few notches, but also connect directly to it.

Think about your current situation…

• What’s the one action you’re avoiding that you know will change your life for the better if you begin doing it consistently?

• What’s the predominant fear holding you back from taking this action?

• What’s the emotion you experience right before you find a way to procrastinate or avoid this action?

Connect with the answer to each of those questions.

Then, begin to imagine what the next year of your life will look and feel like if you do take that action (consistently). 

Notice…

• The words you use to speak to and about yourself

• The thoughts you think and stories you believe about who you are and what you’re capable of

• How your relationship with yourself, your romantic partner, and closest friends have changed; the relationships and dynamic with those you work with or who work for you

• Note the energy and emotion you carry into each day; the lightness, confidence, and calm

Now, I’d like you to take another deep breath and begin to see the next year of your life play out as you continue to choose not to take the action you know you should be taking.

Notice…

• The words you use to speak to and about yourself

• The thoughts you think and stories you believe about who you are and what you’re capable of

• How your relationship with yourself, your romantic partner, and closest friends have changed; the relationships and dynamic with those you work with or who work for you

• Note the energy and emotion you carry into each day; the lightness, confidence, and calm

At this point, I have a hunch you’re experiencing a stark contrast between walking each of these respective paths.

The question now becomes, which path will you commit to walking each day - because even choosing not to make a decision is a choice to walk the less desirable path…

Your Next Step

Why are you waiting to reach a rock bottom that may be next-to-impossible to climb out of?

Why not declare wherever you’re feeling stuck right now your rock bottom and tipping point?

Your future self will be forever grateful (and proud) that you took massive action today to steer clear of a more strenuous rock bottom.

The time to take action is now.

If you’re interested in learning how Hypno-Mindset Coaching can help you stop self-sabotage at the source so that you unlock your full potential and 10X your impact (and income) you can apply to work with me and schedule a coaching discovery call here. 

You can’t change unless you change.

Thank you for reading this week’s newsletter.

In next Friday’s Unstuck Yourself Newsletter, I’m going to shift our discussion to the topic of procrastination - you won’t want to procrastinate reading this one! Yes, I said that last week - I had to procrastinate on this one before writing it ;). 

You may catch up on previous newsletters here. 

If you have a question about anything I discussed in this week’s Unstuck Newsletter, feel free to drop me a message on Twitter (@pauljsalter7) or Instagram (@unstuckyourselfcoaching).

My email inbox is always open, too: pauljoseph1208@gmail.com

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